Anya de Montigny Talks About Taking Tantra to the Dark Side

Anya de Montigny

Anya de Montigny

Most people nowadays have heard of tantra; far fewer could tell you what it actually is. Sex educator Anya de Montigny thinks that in the process of bringing tantra to the West, it became overly focused on hedonism in order to make it more marketable. But she thinks that focus also discarded many valuable elements of tantra that teach skills in building boundaries and connections to other people through sensual play and breath work.

On March 12, Anya will bring her ideas to Stockroom University in a workshop called “Dark Tantra: Honey on the Razor’s Edge.” We talked to her about what she thinks genuine tantra should be, and how it can be incorporated into BDSM.

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Dorian Electra Celebrates the Clitoris in Song

clitopia-electra-500

It took a long time for the clitoris to get appreciated, and you could argue that it still hasn’t gotten its proper due. While there’s a major market for Viagra, Cialis, and other drugs designed to make penises erect, scientists have a history of being kind of… skittish about studying the clitoris. Maybe most notoriously, Freud declared that orgasms resulting from stimulation of the clit were a sign of sexual immaturity.

In the late 1940s, Dr. Charles Goss made the clit disappear entirely from the illustrations in the 25th edition of Gray’s Anatomy, the classic medical text. Whether it was an error or Goss had some kind of puritanical agenda is unknown. But after 90 years of being accurately depicted in the most famous anatomy text ever, the clit vanished.
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The Transgender Erotica Awards Kick Off the Weekend With TEACon at Stockroom Hall

TEACon-cover

This weekend marks the beginning of one of our favorite annual events:  The Transgender Erotica Awards. This is the eight time around, and every single time, it’s been a fabulous, sexy celebration of a porn genre that often gets overlooked — if not openly despised.

This year, they’re taking the show a little further than before, by kicking it off with TEACon, a one-afternoon conference at Stockroom Hall. From 1-5 PM tomorrow, fans will have the opportunity to meet, schmooze with, and get signed photos from their favorite stars, including Foxxy, Michelle Austin, Eddie Wood, and Soldier Boi. While getting ready for the festivities, we talked to Grooby Marketing Director Kristel Penn, who’s put an incredible amount of effort into making everything happen, about what’s going to happen at TEACon, and where the inspiration came from.

It’s hard not to be impressed — or even just overwhelmed — by the list of people that you’ve got lined up to appear at TEACon. Can you give me an overview of what you’re planning to happen with all these stars in one room?

We have so many great performers scheduled throughout the day and they’re all really excited to meet and interact with their fans. We’ll have a media wall for ample photo ops and many of our performers will be signing headshots and selling other merchandise. Behind the scenes we have a really talented videographer named Isabel Dresler interviewing the performers as well, so there will be lots going on all afternoon.

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Pump It Up: How to Use Suction for Sexual Pleasure on Breasts, Labia, and Clits

The Stockroom

Suction-operated penis pumps are easily recognized by most people, but using pumps on breasts, nipples, vulvas, and other sensitive body parts shouldn’t be neglected or ignored. A little suction in the right place can be an extremely pleasurable experience no matter what your anatomy or gender, and a lot of imagination has gone into creating the tech to provide a whole slew of options.

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Squirting, Gushing, and Ejaculating: Dr. Vixenne Brings the Facts to Stockroom U.

Dr V-clitardis-square

On Saturday, Feb 27, Dr. Vixenne will come to Stockroom University to talk about a very popular — and very misunderstood — topic: Squirting. While ejaculation has typically been considered something that you can only do with a penis, people of all genders have been more and more interested in how to spray, squirt, or gush with a vagina. It can be a very beautiful, sexy thing, but also and extremely frustrating one because there are so many rumors, fetishes, and misconceptions surrounding squirting. As a prominent sexologist and educator, Dr. Vixenne will be helping Stockroom University students understand separate the myths from the facts. We asked her how to tell the difference between the two. 

Female ejaculation has become increasingly popular, at least as something to aspire to or to try out. When somebody comes to a workshop like yours, what kind of myths do they bring with them, and what are the realities?

Some myths around squirting tend to be things like “Is it pee?” (It’s not.) There’s very little urea in “female” ejaculate, usually just what’s left in the urethra from the last time the person urinated. It’s actually very similar to “male” ejaculate, minus sperm, along with sugars.

Another misconception I hear a lot is along the lines of “Is it as explosive or dramatic as in adult films?” And certainly, there may be some people who are capable of ejaculating copious streams, but not everyone can, and remember — that’s movie magic with editing and whatnot. Sometimes, it simply a warm gush or trickle. Neither should be a value judgement. Both are awesome.

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Amber Rose Scores a Hit for Sexual Consent on the Oprah Winfrey Network

Amber Rose and Tyrese on "It's Not You, It's Men."

Amber Rose and Tyrese on “It’s Not You, It’s Men.”

People in BDSM communities spend a lot of time talking about consent, and with good reason: It’s the linchpin of kinky sex. The ability for two people to negotiate limits, as well signals that will bring the whole thing to a crashing halt if something starts to go wrong, is the thing that draws the line between a sexy, invigorating flogging and a brutal assault.

We also spend so much time talking about consent because mainstream society talks about it so little. It’s a struggle to get schools to teach any sex education at all beyond the basics of reproduction and how to protect yourself from disease during penis-in-vagina sex. Talking about sex as pleasure, never mind learning to tell someone “You can put your finger in my ass, but not your cock,” isn’t even on the curriculum.

For advanced kinksters, safewords might seem so basic as to be tedious, but in our culture at large, the idea that you can withdraw consent after starting sex is a radical one.

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What is Energy Play? Mistress Melissa Brings the Answers to Stockroom University

Mistress Melissa

Mistress Melissa has been a highly active educator and community member in the BDSM community for over 23 years. Besides being an active volunteer in kink organizations across the country, she’s a professional dominant, a Santeria Spiritual Healer, and Energy Worker.

Energy play is a relatively obscure technique, even in BDSM communities. This weekend, Mistress Melissa will come to Stockroom University to talk about what it is, and how it can be used for intensely intimate and powerful scenes. We talked to her about some of the basics.

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Taylor Swift’s Fetish-Themed “Bad Blood” Won Best Video, and That’s More Than Okay

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The Grammys always put on a great show, but between Lady Gaga’s salute to David Bowie and Kendrick Lamar’s prison-themed performance of “The Blacker the Berry,” there’s even more chatter going on than usual in social media. For us, the award that was most personally significant was Taylor Swift’s triple win: Best Pop Vocal Album and Best Album of the Year for 1989, and Best Video for “Bad Blood.”

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How Do You Give a Kinky Massage? Master Hercules Shows Us How at Stockroom University

Master Hercules

Master Hercules

Can massage be kinky? For many, the instinctive answer would be a derisive snort; as soon as you say “kink,” the images that first come to mind for most people look like the stage gear for a concert by The Cramps circa 1987: black leather catsuits, chains, collars, whips, and wickedly shiny pointy things. Say “massage,” on the other hand, and you’re more likely to call forth images of gently sensual touching, perhaps enhanced with the application of organic coconut oil on your partner’s skin and some smooth jazz playing in the background.

A quick browse through our site will show just how much we love the black-leather-and-chains style of kink. But at the same time, if we’ve learned nothing else after twenty-seven years of designing and selling BDSM gear, it’s this: anything can be kinky, no matter how vanilla it looks on the surface.

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Feb 13: Michael Ellsberg On How To Safely Kink Up Your Relationship

Michael Ellsberg

You’re talking about how to inject kink into a previously vanilla relationship this Saturday, is that right?

Yeah, it is my sense that there are a lot of singles and couples who are very curious about getting into [BDSM], especially after the book and movie which shall not be named. It’s daunting to get into it. When I was getting into it, I didn’t quite know where to go. I found the scene overwhelming; there are all these terms that are new, there’s perhaps different shades and flavors of kink that newbies are a little bit alarmed by at first, and so it can be challenging to get into it. So, I want to provide a really safe, beginner-friendly place to get just the absolute basics of kink and BDSM.

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