According to a study that came out last month, using spit to lube up your partner’s ass for anal sex is a really bad idea. While you recover from your surprise, here’s some details.
The study, released by the National Institutes for Health, looked at the sexual practices and health of 1,312 men who have sex with men (MSM) and came to the conclusion that using saliva to lubricate for penetration carries a high risk of transmitting rectal gonorrhea. According to the abstract: “Almost half of rectal gonorrhoea cases may be eliminated if MSM stopped using partner’s saliva for anal sex.”
We’re not exactly shocked to find that all those porn films we’ve been watching haven’t been entirely accurate on the subject of sexual health, but we did think that this is a great opportunity to talk about the importance of keeping a fresh container of your favorite lube within easy reach for sexy funtimes.
Even with experienced players, lube doesn’t get as much credit as it should. The fact is that although it might not be one of the sexiest-looking things that you’ll see while cruising the Stockroom website or browsing our store, it’s one of the most essential. For both health and pleasure’s sake, you need not only to have lube on hand, but the right lube.
Suction-operated penis pumps are easily recognized by most people, but using pumps on breasts, nipples, vulvas, and other sensitive body parts shouldn’t be neglected or ignored. A little suction in the right place can be an extremely pleasurable experience no matter what your anatomy or gender, and a lot of imagination has gone into creating the tech to provide a whole slew of options.
This weekend, the esteemed sex educator Midori will be returning to Stockroom University to teach two classes: The Exquisite Whip: Amazing Hands-On Flogging Training and How to Create Amazing Scenes: Get Into Their Heads. For more details on what you can expect from the two classes, check out the Q&A with Midori that we published earlier this week.
As always, The Stockroom is very excited to host Midori, who has long been one of the most insightful people that we know. The below excerpt from her book, Wild Side Sex: The Book of Kink is an excellent example of that. Aftercare is one of the elements of BDSM that is often missed in discussions about technique or negotiation, but as Midori says below, it’s essential to good, safe BDSM, and we’re often not aware of how important it is until it’s not there or done badly.
We are pleased to welcome back Stockroom University Educators Sunny & Ken! Join them in a serious look at risk taking behaviors while examining how to be as safe as possible in any scene. Risk assessment, safety, health, negotiation, and consent will all be covered as well as how to set up , design, and execute abduction and interrogation scenes. Armbinders, body bags, hogties, straitjackets and Stockroom sensory deprivation gear will be utilized during this course.
What: Stockroom University: Edge Play — Toying With Risk
Note: You can also purchase tickets on arrival if you prefer.
When: Saturday May 9, 2:00-5:00pm
Where: Stockroom Hall -Located next to our retail store.
About the Instructors:
The superheroes of sex ed, married couple Ken Melvoin-Berg and Sunny Megatron are partners in every sense of the word. In addition to co-producing Showtime’s Sex with Sunny Megatron, they initially gained recognition writing and teaching about everyone’s favorite subject: SEX. Some of their sell-out workshops include: BDSM 101; Prostate Milking for Beginners; Ethical Non-Monogamy; Sex Toys 101; ZAP! Electric Play: Wands, TENS & More; G-spots & Squirting; and How to Give a World Class Blow Job.
Led by Syren & Stockroom Boutique Representative Kimberli and Southern California Leather Bootblack Title Holder, Danielle
Are you fascinated by all things shiny but don’t know where to start? This two-part instructional is hosted by Syren Latex & Stockroom Boutique representative, Kimberli, who will give you an informative intro on how to safely dress, shine and control the wear and tear of latex, while also finding ways to incorporate Stockroom’s fashions into every day vanilla attire.
Next up, class turns to all things leather! Meet Danielle, a Bootblack and Leather enthusiast and the Southern California Leather Bootblack Title Holder. Learn about the leather lifestyle and the Sensual Art of Boot Blacking, while incorporating these leather-based service fundamentals into your D/s practice.
What: Stockroom University: Latex, Leather, & Lube, Oh My!
Note: You can also purchase tickets on arrival if you prefer.
When: Saturday May 2, 2:00-5:00pm
Where: Stockroom Hall -Located next to our retail store.
Stockroom/Syren Retail Boutique
2809 1/2 W. Sunset Blvd.
Los Angeles, CA 90026
Curious about vaginal fisting? You should be! It’s a magical, sacred and extremely sexy experience for both parties involved. I am by no means an expert, just a sex nerd who likes to dabble in various perverted acts. I will share tips to keep in mind for vaginal fisting, as well as explain from my perspective as a submissive how fisting can bring a kinky scene to the next level.
So, first things first. If you anticipate fisting in your near future here are some things to keep in mind:
• Hygiene: Fisters, don’t even think about it if you’ve got long nails! Can you say ouch?! Even if your partner eroticizes pain, vaginal tissues are sensitive and you don’t want to risk small tears and the chance of infection. Keep nails short and clean. If you can’t part with long nails or just flat out forgot to trim them you can wear gloves with cotton balls inside the tips. This will reduce the chance of the gloves ripping as well as your partner experiencing any uncomfortable scratches.
• Safer sex: Wearing latex or nitrile gloves can prevent the exchange of fluids and can prevent the transmission of STI’s and other infections. Gloves are also helpful for individuals with long or painted nails. Even if you aren’t into medical fetishes, gloves can be sexy! With some Pavlovian conditioning, the sight of a glove may make cause some intense sexual arousal.
• Consent and Communication: Vaginal fisting may not be on everyone’s checklist of activities they want to engage in, so it’s important to get clear consent before attempting to do so. It is also important to ask questions; “Are you interested in giving? Receiving? Do you have any medical conditions that may potentially be a problem? Do you have a safe word?” There are some risks involved in vaginal fisting, so it is important to be well informed. If you do have any concerns, consult a physician (don’t fear there are several directories of kink aware physicians who won’t judge). Lastly, communicate throughout the whole process. If you aren’t in the mood on a particular night, speak up! During the act, fistee’s communicate about wants, needs, and how it is feeling. Fisters, you can help out too by prompting communication with questions like, “Is this okay? Would you like another finger now? Faster?”
• Slow and Slippery: Fisting shouldn’t be a race. The anticipation and build up to the end result of a whole fist inside someone’s cunt is part of the fun. Take your time and don’t be discouraged if the first time, or second, or fifth time isn’t successful. On top of taking your time, be liberal with the lube, and yes, lube is necessary! I’d recommend a silicone lubricant, oil based lube (beware with latex barriers though), or a thick water-based gel. Keep reapplying, even if you don’t think you need more because the less friction the better.
Some people may want a mellow, slow and sensual environment for their fisting experiences, while others may want something a little more intense or kinky. Allowing someone to put their entire fist inside of you requires trust, vulnerability, and communication. The fistee may feel they are ultimately submitting to the fister, or they may feel that they are constantly in control of how much of their partner they take into their cunt. As the receiver I feel that being fisted by someone is one of my greatest acts of submission. I am offering my pussy to be used. I am giving a priceless gift to my partner. As the giver I feel a great responsibility to communicate with my partner and reassure them that they are in a good place and taking the experience well. Vaginal fisting alone is one of the greatest connections I’ve felt with another partner, but combining kink with fisting is an experience that I can count on to bring me to subspace.
Some ways you can make your fisting experience a little kinkier:
• Use a vibrator: I have to say the most intense orgasm I’ve had to this day was with a hand in my cunt and a Hitachi on my clit. Or try a vibrator with lower speeds and increase the power gradually if the Hitachi Magic Wand is too strong for you.
• Bondage: Being bound by rope or restraints or held open by someone strong can really intensify those feelings of vulnerability and submissiveness. There may be some points in the fisting process that the fistee may want to wiggle away and stop, but the bondage will keep them in place and help them get through those difficult seconds.
• Blindfolds or hoods: This can help you focus less on your physical environment and more on what’s happening inside you, quite literally as well as emotionally.
• Sensation Play: Candle wax, nipple clamps, nipple/clit pumps, breath play, etc. The possibilities are endless! I would advise against using gags during fisting, even if both players are very experienced. Each experience is different and both the giver and receiver should be able to clearly communicate their needs and whether something is not working for them.
Her voice drops to a low purr as she leans into her beloved submissive. Her eyes narrow and lips curl into a mischievous grin. She whispers her desires and makes demands to satisfy her whims. Perhaps she feeds off moans of sensual suffering. Perhaps she seeks sexual satisfaction. Maybe she’d like pampering and amusement. This is her time. Because it’s her time, where she speaks and gets what delights her, it’s also their time. It’s a bubble of time and space where no one and nothing else matters. It is a gift to their relationship of clarity, simplicity, authenticity, confidence of belonging and pleasure.
There are four essential tools that the dominant woman needs to make this magic time happen. I also want to share with you three simple and clever tools that make the dominant woman’s play time so much easier and sweeter – more on this later!
The fundamental tools are; your voice, your gaze, your touch and your walk.
Your voice sets the tone. Gives cue to the bottom on what you share now and where you may take them. Don’t rush it. Drop your voice and slow down the speech a little. If you don’t know what to say, say nothing. Silence makes bottoms squirm. Saying wicked things, hot breath in the ear, with sweet tones creates delightful dilemmas. Your voice is unique – soon your bottom will come to associate that particular tone of your voice with their happy, fun, bottom space.
Your touch wakes up their senses to the moment and to your intention. Gentle caress makes their skin tingle. Rough grabs put them on alert. Stinging slaps and pinches may be rewards or punishments, depending on how their appetites run.
Your gaze reminds them that they must be present and in the here and now. The smiling eyes encouraging a bottom maybe extra strength they need to sweetly suffer through an ordeal. The gaze averted maybe a cruel denial.
Practice the infamously effective “Queen’s Walk” We practice this form of movement in ForteFemme. Pull your spine up, roll your shoulders back, proudly bring your chest up and tighten your core. Put your weight on your back foot. Then walk slowly. Lock your gaze on your partner. With each step you take, take a breath. Yes, it’s that slow. It sets the tone. It sets the understanding of who owns that time and space in the moment. It’s a great tool of creating confidence in the woman and setting the stage for the partner and the scene.
These are tools that you’ll want to practice and hone over time. At first you might feel awkward, but it will come to you in time. They are subtle but powerful tools.
So now for the fun and crafty tools to make your playtime easier and sweeter!
Blindfold is a top’s best friend! With a blindfold on, ever you do is always a surprise. With a blindfold on, they won’t know your expression of befuddlement as you try to figure out some new complicated toy – or when you kick off your heels!
Why be uncomfortable? Being uncomfortable is the prize for the bottoms. Not something you should endure. Once you’ve Queen’s Walked your way to your ecstatic bottom, enjoy creating and conducting the scene from a place of gorgeous comfort! If you really like the regal seating for play, you might consider selecting toys that are easy to use while seated.
Collection of Kinky Erotic Fiction:
Yes, fiction. Collect and read many, many kinky fiction books. There are so many quality ones out there beyond the ones that mass media repeats. Don’t forget Laura Antoniou’s books. Various anthologies with works from many writers are great. Ernest Greene has a new one out too.
These are both you and your partner to read. For you, it will illuminate what kind of play and mindset turns you on. For your partner, find out what story and which part they liked. Try to get them to tell you what they liked about it. This will give you a deeper idea of how their pleasures are mapped out – and can be far more illuminating than a standard negotiation.
The Stockroom is proud of its many innovations in the industry; our KinkLab line features an array of classic bondage staples and toys perfect for beginners as well as those who prefer to keep it simple and functional. In honor of our 25th Anniversary, this recent episode of Vibrator Corner called attention to KinkLab’s version of a much-loved classic vibrator.
Rachel’s Vibrator Corner: The KinkLab VibeRite
Not only is this wand insanely powerful, it’s also wireless and completely portable!
|The VibeRite® Personal Massager is a 7 speed, cordless massage wand with a soft silicone head and a pliable neck for a more personal massage.
In the latest episode of our vibrator series, Rachel demos Fun Factory’s newest pulsator, the Stronic Drei.
Rachel’s Vibrator Corner: Stronic Drei
Featuring deep ridges and a flared base ideal for anal play, this pulsator mimics the motions of sex and raises the bar for high-end sex toys!
||Fun Factory Stronic Drei
|Rather than the buzzing associated with traditional toys, the Drei is a pulsator and produces a thrusting motion, making it possible to insert and use hands-free.
There are new lubricants hitting the shelves every day, making it a bit frustrating to choose the one that is right for you. In spirit of the holidays, we’d like to offer some suggestions for the perfect stocking stuffer!
Water-based lubricant is extremely versatile in that it ranges from thin and slippery to thick and long-lasting.
||Sliquid Organics Gel $13.99-$22.99
|Water based with natural and botanical ingredients, this lube contains no glycerin, parabens, or petroleum. It is hypoallergenic, non-staining, and also 100% vegan.
Silicone lubricant has amazing staying power and is ideal for anal play.
||Pjur Bodyglide Original Gel $19.75
|Pjur Gel is designed for multiple uses, and is also a skin conditioner, moisturizer and a therapeutic massage formula, appropriate for daily use.
||Swiss Navy Silicone Lubricant $16.95-$99.00
|Useful for shining your rubber or lubing up for some rough-and-tumble, this high quality silicone lube is perfect for all styles of play, and completely latex compatible.
Hybrid lubricants combine the best of both worlds – the staying power of silicone with the natural feel of water-based.
||Liquid Silk $7-$17
|Liquid Silk is a luxury, non tacky, hybrid personal lubricant which will assist and enhance sexual intercourse, intimate massage and foreplay.