Masturbation, n. – 1. 1. The stimulation, usually by hand, of one’s genitals for sexual pleasure; the action or practice of masturbating oneself or (less commonly) another person; an instance of this.
-Oxford English Dictionary
Let no one say we do not strive to be less common! Mondays in May are for exploring the boundaries of mutual pleasure. Often, games of touchy-feely are thrown by the wayside in the throes of passion, but let’s not be over-hasty. Whether you’re just getting to know someone or seek to travel new avenues of pleasing one another, we’ve put together this handy road map to try to keep you from getting lost (though admittedly that’s fun sometimes, too!)
Knowing how to please yourself is important, but so is being able to communicate what pleases you to your partner. Start off with how and where you like to be touched. Sometimes it’s easier to show, not tell. Put their hand on top of yours so they can feel how hard and fast you like it. If you’re experiencing discomfort or too much friction, put your hand on top of theirs as they touch you to guide them. consider using a silicone or water based lube to ensure your comfort.
Take the Road Less Traveled
Don’t be afraid to let your partner experiment on you. You can’t tickle yourself, and likewise, you may discover unsuspected pleasure in surprising new places if you let their hands roam a little. Likewise, don’t be afraid to boldly explore everywhere, but remember to be gentle in your ministrations. Look and listen to your partner’s reactions for clues about the best way to maximize their enjoyment!
What’s Good for the Goose is Good for the…Other Goose
A good place to start is with what you like for yourself. Use a speed and rhythm you’re comfortable with. Treat it like a dance, where one partner leads and the other matches them. Try not to step on one another’s er…toes!
Desire and pleasure are two way streets, and need signs and we all need signs and signals to guide us. “Faster.” “More Intense.” “Slower.” “Softer.” “Right there.” “Don’t stop!” Don’t be afraid of communicating what you like and, most importantly, what you don’t.
Toys and gear are great to add to your mutual exploration. Bring some of your favorites for your partner to use on you, or ask to see their toy drawer. Try a toy that accessorizes your technique, like the Toy Two Finger Extender, or one of the Tenga Egg Masturbators.
There are as many ways to please your partner as there are to please yourself. Don’t get too hung up on particulars, just be attentive and enthusiastic, and good times are sure to follow. When in doubt, don’t forget these simple directions: Get excited, get creative, and get off!