Rigger Damon Pierce On Using Alternative Armbinding Techniques to Suit Your Partner and Pleasure

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Longtime rigger and film director Damon Pierce will be coming to Stockroom University this weekend to present a class on Alternative Arm Binds. This class is more than one more teaching you a new series of knots; to Pierce, it’s essential to good and pleasurable bondage that kinksters don’t get too hung up on how to do things “the right way” and remember that our partners’ bodies have different abilities and different pleasures that aren’t necessarily covered in any of the numerous manuals or instructional videos that are available. The right way to do it, he says, is the way that makes it a pleasurable experience for the people involved. We had a quick conversation with him about why (and how) bondage lovers need to look more closely at the bodies in front of them instead of focusing too closely on the “one true way.”

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August 8 at Stockroom University: “Bootblacking 101″ With Danielle

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Come join us for a hands-on class in all things Leather. Bring your kit, your leather and your partner, if you have one. Get your hands dirty learning the joy of boot blacking in this interactive class showing off techniques, answering questions, and practicing your shine. Hosted by The Southern California Leather Bootblack Title Holder.

What: Bootblacking 101
Note: You can also purchase tickets on arrival if you prefer.

When: Saturday August 8, 2:00-5:00pm

Where: Stockroom Hall: 2811 W. Sunset Blvd. Located next to our retail store.

About Your Hostess:

Danielle is a Bootblack and Leather girl located in North Orange County. She currently holds the first ever Southern California Leather Bootblack Title. When not out camping, biking, or flying with her Sir, she trains in Wrestling.

If you have boots or pretty much anything shineable on, she will jump at the chance to make you shine and flirt shamelessly with you while she’s doing it!

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#HisNameIs Buck Angel: The Right to Your Own Identity Online and Off

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Here at Stockroom, we’re really looking forward to playing host to adult star and educator Buck Angel, the self-proclaimed “man with a pussy” in a couple of weeks. On July 11 Buck, along with adult stars Michelle Austin, Morgan Bailey and Tori Mayes, is going to take part in “Trans Talk,” a panel that will talk about the trans identities, experiences, and issues inside and outside of the adult industry.

The Trans Talk panel is especially relevant and important now: As trans visibility is increased by things such as Caitlyn Jenner’s glamorous debut in the pages of Vanity Fair or Laverne Cox gaining celebrity from her role on Orange is the New Black, more people than ever are talking about transgender individuals and identities in public. Unfortunately, just because the amount of talk in the mainstream is increasing doesn’t mean that understanding of trans experiences is keeping pace. It’s an honor for us that Buck Angel and his colleagues are coming to Stockroom to take the talk farther.

Not everyone is so honored to play host to Buck Angel, however. Last week, Facebook shut down his account until he could “verify” his identity in keeping with their “real names” policy.

Buck Angel is my name @facebook so why do you want to #delete me? Just #Google me. #mynameis

A photo posted by Buck Angel (@buckangel) on

Buck is not the first person to face this conflict with Facebook. Not even remotely. Controversy over Facebook’s “Real Names” has been building in the last year among queer, trans, and sex work communities. In San Francisco, a coalition of activists recently demanded that the Board of Directors of SF Pride ban Facebook from sponsoring or marching in last weekend’s parade. SF Pride refused, but it remains a contentious issue in the community, and the board itself was split on the decision.

One of the first things that you learn after spending any amount of time as a member of kinky or LBTQIA communities is that what’s on someone’s birth certificate or driver’s license isn’t really a good indicator of who they are. After spending years among kinksters, you’ll inevitably find that you don’t know the legal names of many of the people you love and trust most in the world. You also come to realize that it’s not important. You know who they are, and how much you can trust them, and the identity that they’ve chosen for themselves means more than what you’d get from the legal name.

The reasons those names are chosen vary as much as the people themselves: For trans people, the name is a statement of identity, chosen to reflect the person that they’ve always felt themselves to be; many refer to the old one as their “dead name,” representing a part of their life that’s behind them. For kink players, it may be a persona that they use in dungeon scenes. For youth whose families don’t support their sexual or gender identities, an online pseudonym is simply a way that they can participate in online communities without being outed.

What all those reasons have in common is that it is not only disrespectful to deny someone the chance to use their chosen name, in many cases it’s dangerous. While Facebook claims that its “Real Names” policy is meant to make the site safer, it in fact exposes many people to harassment and abuse, both online and off.

 

When Buck Angel was born, someone checked a box on his birth certificate that said “female”; he grew up and realized that what it said on that piece of paper was wrong. Other trans people have done the same thing in one direction or the other. Some have decided that neither box suited who they were, and identify as nonbinary.

The difference between us and Facebook is that we realize that Buck Angel is his real name because it’s the one he’s chosen for himself. Acknowledging that is not only a courtesy, but for some, a matter of life and death.   Despite the celebrity of Laverne Cox and Caitlyn Jenner, being trans or queer is dangerous in and of itself. Saying “I am trans” amounts to more than just unchecking and checking a box. Depending on where someone lives and in what circumstances, saying those three words could make them lose everything, up to and including their life.

One of the organizers of the San Francisco protest movement, drag queen Lil Miss Hot Mess, wrote in The Guardian about the reasons that people use aliases:

For many vulnerable users, logging on to Facebook isn’t merely a time suck, but is a way of building safe and supportive communities, sharing resources or planting the seeds of political change. For example, after launching a survey to collect users’ testimonials, our group heard from several transgender users who have used the site in different ways: one person used Facebook as a way of “testing names out to see if they fit” before going through the process of a legal name change. Another wrote us about using Facebook to share pictures and resources to demystify her transition and to encourage friends to “start using [the] new name”. A third disclosed that using her chosen name on Facebook allowed her space to avoid the abuse she otherwise endured in her real life.

As of now, Buck has his account back and is on Facebook again. But his identity has been hard-won, and he shouldn’t have to prove it to anyone.

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We hope that you’ll join us for the Trans Talk panel on July 11 so that you can listen to Buck Angel, Michelle Austin, Morgan Bailey and Tori Mayes speak for themselves.

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Ernest Greene’s “Master of O” Makes Consensual Kink Sexy

Our latest release from Daedalus Publishing, Master of O by Ernest Greene, came out at one of the most interesting and appropriate times for a book about a D/s relationship. Thanks to the book and movie of Fifty Shades of Grey, there has been more discussion of BDSM in the mainstream media than in years.

Master of O may bear some superficial similarity to Fifty Shades of Grey in that they both depict relationships between dominant men and submissive women. But one of the big differences between the two is that Ernest Greene gets the details of BDSM right. Most importantly, he gets the role of consent right.

Consent is the linchpin of kinky sex. Scratch that; it’s the linchpin of all sex. It’s what makes the difference between one scene that is pleasurable and intimate for all involved and another that is abusive and traumatic. Daedalus is proud to stand behind Master of O because the relationship depicted by Ernest Greene is a strong example of a D/s relationship built on enthusiastic consent. In Greene’s novel, BDSM is something that people do for mutual pleasure, not because they’ve been warped by bad childhoods or inner decadence.

“The stalking and spying and bickering that occurs in Fifty Shades in no way represents the process of negotiation by which legitimate consent is formulated,” Greene says. “No matter what roles people may choose to adopt for purposes of mutual enjoyment, for consent to be meaningful it must be an expression of mutual desire between equals. In Master of O I went out of my way to portray O’s pleasure in the acts in which she partook and the extent to which she and her master are otherwise very much equals. Both are experienced players with well-defined interests and clear boundaries. Both have, and exercise, the right to refuse those opportunities that don’t suit their tastes. Though their physical play is intense, it’s focused on shared pleasure and mutual respect.”

Unfortunately, this kind of careful thought about consent and mutual pleasure has been rare in the mainstream media’s coverage of BDSM lately.  It’s especially unfortunate because it’s the first thing that anyone should think about when they start to explore kinky sex.

Both Daedalus and Stockroom see getting the facts right about kink as the most essential part of our mission. We think that BDSM should not only be hot, but healthy. Master of O depicts some lush, glamorous fantasies; the new illustrated edition, which contains over forty full-color illustrations, gives them even more dimension and depth.

 

But whether inspired by Greene’s words or Fernando’s images, bringing those fantasies into the real world requires caution, respect, and a safe environment. It calls for an understanding of limits and mutual pleasure. Part of the beauty of Master of O is that it weaves those things into the fantasy.

For more reading on kink in the real world, we recommend checking out Midori’s Wild Side Sex, also available from Daedalus. Midori is one of the best educators in the field, knowledgeable and well-spoken both on technique and the ethics of kink. Wild Side Sex is a collection of essays that chronicle her own personal explorations in kink and give solid advice to people who are making their own journeys.

Buy all of these titles from Stockroom:

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