Are you ready to discover a new way to have amazing sex? More men and their partners are experimenting with prostate massage or pegging, and they’re finding out how much pleasure it can bring.
If you’re like most folks, when you hear the word “prostate,” you probably think of prostate health concerns like cancer. But what you might not know is that the prostate is also one of the most sensitive erogenous zones that men have. In fact, it’s remarkably similar to the G-spot. Think about everything you’ve heard about the G-spot, and then consider what it would be like to for men to be able to enjoy the same pleasures. Some of the ways that men describe orgasms from prostate play are that they feel bigger, more full-body, more expansive, and more diffuse than the focused sensations of a penis orgasm. Sounds pretty amazing, doesn’t it?
Of course, prostate sensations can also feel fantastic even before orgasm. Imagine that feeling that happens when you’re about to ejaculate. You know the one- it’s the “point of no return.” In that moment, the prostate is contracting in order to produce a portion of the fluid in semen. Now, instead of having that feeling for just a few seconds, imagine that it’s going on for half an hour, or even longer. Prostate massage can feel like you’re on the verge of an orgasm for as long as you want, which is a wonderful experience.
The easiest way to find the prostate is to insert a lubricated finger into the anus and then curl it towards the navel. The prostate is about 3-4” in from the opening of the anus, but don’t worry if your finger is shorter than that. If you insert it all the way and then press in further, the flexibility of the pelvic floor will let you reach a bit more.
You’re looking for a round object that feels like a ripe plum. Don’t go poking for it- that can bruise the prostate just like it would bruise a plum. Instead, gently press along the midline of his body until you find it. The prostate fills with fluid during arousal, which makes it get bigger like a water balloon, so you might have an easier time finding it if you get him turned on first. There’s also a groove running down the prostate from top to bottom, and it’s possible to have your finger in that groove and not be able to feel anything. Try moving a little to the left or right and you’ll feel it more easily.
You can massage the prostate with a finger or two, just like the G-spot. Try making a “come here” motion, tapping, circling, or sliding in and out while pressing it. Just be sure to have short fingernails and remember: stroke, don’t poke. You can also massage his penis at the same time. It works best if you can keep your motions in sync, so if that’s difficult, either slow down until you can match them up or have him stroke himself and focus on his prostate.
For the guy on the receiving end, there are a few possible sensations to look for. Some guys feel amazing pleasure right away. If that happens for you, awesome! Some guys first notice that it feels like they need to urinate. That means that you’re on the spot, so dial the pressure down a bit. And some men say that they didn’t feel much of anything the first few times they tried it. It can take a little practice to tune into the sensations. One good way to do that is to combine prostate massage with a familiar pleasure like oral sex or a handjob. That gets your body used to the new experience and makes it more likely that the next time will be different.
Tools & Techniques
Wear a glove to keep things clean, and use plenty of lubricant. Silicone lubricants last longer than water-based lubes, though water-based products rinse off more easily in the shower. Use a thinner lube like Wet Platinum for a slick ride or try a thicker lube like System Jo Premium Anal Lubricant to give you a little extra cushioning. Go nice and slow, and be sure to get your partner turned on before going in. Arousal makes penetration much easier. Remember – you need to seduce the ass.
Most men find that a dildo with a curved shaft or a bulbous head works really well for prostate massage. Aim the curve towards your navel in order to reach the spot. You can experiment with different angles, amounts of pressure, sliding in and out, or jostling the dildo so it vibrates on your prostate. And of course, women can wear a harness to make penetration easy.
There are lots of vibrators that make the prostate feel fantastic. Look for a toy that focuses the vibration at the tip, and make sure it has a wide base to keep it from slipping all the way in and getting lost.
If you want an amazing, hands-free prostate massage, try one of the Aneros massagers. The upward curved end of the base goes towards the front of the body, with the tip resting on the bulb of the penis (behind the testicles). When you have it in place, with the shaft pressing into the prostate, contract your pelvic floor. The most effective way to do that is to squeeze the muscles that make your erection bounce. Every time you do, the anus will pull up and the shaft of the Aneros will lever forward into your prostate for an amazing time.
You can use the Aneros during solo sex, while receiving a blowjob, or even during intercourse, as long as it’s free to move. The MGX is a great one to start with because the hard plastic makes it easy to work with. If you do your Kegel exercises and have good control over your muscles, the Eupho is incredible, but it’s less effective if you aren’t as practiced with your Kegels.
Some buttplugs work for prostate massage, especially if they can be angled towards the navel. They don’t move as much on their own, but if you like firm, constant pressure, they’re a good bet.
Health & Safety
Here are two important toy tips. One: make sure that your anal toys are smooth. There are lots of G-spot toys with bumps and ridges that feel great in the vagina, but they’ll be too rough for anal use. Two: get something that’s non-porous and easy to clean, like silicone, or cover your toy with a condom all the way over the base. Hygiene is extra important for anal play, for obvious reasons.
Some men enjoy having an orgasm during prostate play, while others like it as a warm-up before switching to something else as they get close. There’s no right or wrong here, so try different things to see what feels best to you. It’s pretty common for men to ejaculate more during a prostate massage, since you’re squeezing more of the fluid out of the gland.
With all of the amazing pleasure potential in the prostate, it’s good to know that it may also have some important health benefits. Massage increases blood flow, releases muscle tension, helps break up blockages and trapped fluid in the gland, and can even improve some of the symptoms associated with an enlarged prostate (benign prostatic hyperplasia). However, if you think you may have a prostate health concern, please get checked out by a doctor.
Looking for more info about prostate massage, pegging, and how to have explosive orgasms? Check out The Ultimate Guide to Prostate Pleasure: Erotic Exploration for Men and Their Partners by Charlie Glickman PhD and Aislinn Emirzian. It has all the tips and tools you need to get the most fun out of your prostate!