Chastity roleplay can turn sexual frustration into one of your most powerful and satisfying sexual experiences.
Though they’re often associated with medieval tortures and Victorian repression, chastity belts and devices are actually much more popular today than they were in the past. That’s because they’re now used as sex toys for orgasm denial and control – the voluntary kind, where the goal is the delayed reward of cumming, rather than the subjugation of the chastised person.
Teasing your partner while he’s wearing a male chastity device heightens his psychological arousal by preventing his physical arousal, because he won’t be able to think about anything except his cock and the person in charge of it. Giving your partner blue balls for a little while will dramatically intensify your foreplay – and everything that follows!
What Are Chastity Toys Used For?
Chastity is a powerful way of eroticizing denial and limitations. For some men and couples, chastity is a lifestyle and a primary focus of their everyday sexuality. Though currently there are no sanitary long-term chastity options for women, there are several very popular chastity devices for men designed for long-term wear, and some men have reported wearing them for periods of over a year!
Some chastity devices are strictly meant for short-term use, since they’re made of metal, like the Houdini, which locks onto the cock and balls with a handcuff. Others are designed for cock and ball torture (CBT) and too intense to wear for long, like Mike’s Spikes® – a penis-sized steel Iron Maiden with adjustable spikes that became notorious when featured on “American Horror Story.”
The focus here, though, is on using male chastity devices for short-term sensual fun, where the focus is on the promise of delayed pleasure rather than causing discomfort. Orgasm control and denial (also called “edging,” or “peaking”) can offer exciting possibilities for couples seeking new erotic adventures. Read on to learn how to shop for a comfortable, good-quality chastity toy and fun ideas for using it!
Choosing the Right Male Chastity Device
The ideal chastity toy for teasing is one that prevents arousal without causing pain, because it will be incredibly frustrating without dampening your partner’s enthusiasm or abilities after he’s set free. The most comfortable and sanitary chastity devices are the ones created for long-term wear, because they’re made of washable, skin-safe materials.
Because of this, even for a short-term tease, choosing a toy that’s been designed for long-term wear makes sense. One of the best brands currently available is the Birdlocked male chastity device, which consists of a tube-shaped cock cage connected to a cock ring by a padlocked pin. Made of soft, stretchy, medical-grade silicone that’s easy to sanitize between uses, the Birdlocked’s flexible, low-profile design keeps it discreet under clothing, which is perfect for public play. The cock cage angles downward to prevent erections without being painful, and is ventilated to allow skin to breathe and liquids to flow through, so you don’t have to interrupt your fun to let your partner urinate (or even shower!) Best of all, it’s impossible to get trapped even if you lose the padlock keys, since the Birdlock is easily cut free with a pair of ordinary scissors (just make sure to pull it away from the skin before cutting!)
CB-X male chastity kits, which includes the popular CB6000, is another quality toy line. CB-X products come in several colors of easy-to-wash medical-grade polycarbonate plastic, and are also ventilated for long-wearing hygiene. Unlike the Birdlocked, which is a single molded piece, CB-X kits come with a variety of components that allow up to 20 different size configurations.
Getting the Right Fit
In order to be both comfortable and effective, a male chastity cage should fit snugly when the cock is at rest without either leaving gaps, or biting into the skin. Both the cage length and the diameter of the cock ring need to be considered to get the right fit.
Both Birdlocked and CB-X male chastity devices come with different cage lengths. Don’t feel judged by the lengths offered: to do its job, a chastity cage has to be quite a bit shorter than a soft cock, so even the longest cages measure under 4″! The best rule of thumb is to get a larger size if you’ve got a lot of girth and length when flaccid; if you’re a grower, not a shower, get the shorter cage.
Some chastity cages, like the CB-X kits, come with a set of different size base rings; others, like the Birdlocked, must be ordered with the appropriate size ring.
The base ring of a chastity cage should have the same diameter as a cock ring that fits you well, so it supports the weight of the cage correctly and keeps it in a comfortable position.
Don’t know what size you take? Here’s how to measure for a cock ring:
- Wrap a string around your cock and balls
- Measure the length of the string
- Divide the result by 3.14 to get the cock ring diameter
How to Wear a Male Chastity Toy
Don’t try to squash a hard on into a chastity cage! All that handling will make your cock excited, but a cock needs to be soft to put on a chastity toy. Fitting an excitable cock into a small cage can be a bit of a struggle, but there’s a couple techniques that can smooth the way.
Putting a little lube on the head and shaft of your penis can help the cage slide on; some people also like to lube the inside of the base ring a bit, too, so the cage doesn’t stick in one position when worn. Silicone lube is nice with the rigid CB-X kits, since it doesn’t dry out or get sticky, but oil or water based lubes should be used with the Birdlock to avoid degrading the silicone toy. Avoid flavored lubes or ones that contain glycerin, since putting sugars in a warm, moist place can give you a yeast infection.
Alternately, you can used the lube-free Stocking Method (as invented Tickleberry) to slide a cock cage on without lube. Uncircumcised men may find this technique an especially good way to keep foreskin from getting trapped at the end of the cage:
- Line the cock cage with a nylon stocking by pulling the toe through the vent holes at the end of the cock cage. You can use a ladies’ knee-high or a cutoff leg from a pair of hose for this; just make sure to leave some of the stocking free at the top of the cage.
- Put your cock inside the top part of the stocking and put the open end right next to your body.
- Keep the stocking on while guiding the head of your penis into the mouth of the chastity cage.
- Pull the stocking onto your cock from the top to slide your penis into the cage.
- Remove the stocking by pulling it out the bottom of the cage.
Once you’re inside the cage adjustments can be tricky, since chastity sex toys are confining by design. Applying a little lube to tight-fitting spots with a cotton swab as you adjust position will keep the cage from tugging on sensitive skin.
How to Pee in a Chastity Cage
Most men find it easiest and cleanest to pee sitting down when wearing a chastity device. Make sure your urethra is positioned so everything drains out the slit at the end of the cage before you start! Prevent painful pulling on tender skin by using a cotton swab to lube the end of your penis before adjusting it.
Male Chastity Safety and Hygiene
- Chastity cages should be constricting without cutting off circulation. Though some chastity devices for CBT (cock and ball torture) are meant to be painful, longterm cages like Birdlocked and CB6000 shouldn’t be too uncomfortable unless you’re actively trying to have an erection. Remove the device immediately if you experience tingling or numbness, or if you feel a loss of circulation.
- Always wash your device thoroughly with warm water and antibacterial soap after use, and let it air dry completely before storing.
- Always have a spare key handy for the padlock on the cage.
- If you have a Birdlocked device, don’t forget that you can cut the cage off quickly in case of an emergency. Bondage Safety Scissors, which are blunt and angled so they won’t cut into skin, are an inexpensive safety measure to have on hand.
- Make sure to bring your keys and scissors if you leave the house!
Six Teasing Tips for Short-Term Chastity Fun:
Here are some fun ideas for you and your partner to try out with your new chastity toy:
- Oral sex becomes an incredible tease
- Lapdances – giving one to your partner will drive him wild… just make sure you don’t grind too hard on his cock so it gets crushed in its cage! Or take him out to a strip club and buy him a lapdance from someone else, so you can watch him struggle.
- Going out in public adds an extra dimension of exhibitionism and trying not to get caught to chastity play. Simply talking dirty in your caged partner’s ear over dinner can create delicious agonies! (Don’t forget to read the section above on urinating in a cage if you decide to play publicly… and don’t forget to bring your keys and scissors!)
- Try mutually controlling each other’s orgasms for a unique twist on chastity play. Wear this Remote Control Vibrating Egg while you’re out on the town with your chastity caged partner, and give him the controls.
- Sensation play is also great to combine with male chastity devices. Ice cubes can feel good (be careful of frostbite!), as can light tickler whips or prickly Wartenberg Pinwheels.
- 6. Use a blindfold alone or in combination with the ideas above for an added element of suspense and anticipation!
Throughout National Kink Month, we’ll be showcasing tricks, tips and lessons for using the fetish toys and BDSM gear on sale that week.